This came from a Reuters story that we’re sure should have made it into their April Fool’s round-up, but no, here it is on May 21st. In pure “Carry On ...” style, market researchers for Britain’s Tesco supermarket chain have determined why the stores’ larger melons were not selling well: women shoppers “subconsciously compared them to the size of their breasts” and picked smaller melons that matched them, they found.

“We were very surprised by the results of the market research,” a Tesco spokesman said, but “since we introduced smaller melons two months ago we have sold more than a million.” It gets better ... “Next, we’ll try to figure out why most watermelons are bought by men,” he added. Fruity.