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New Love Languages
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New Love Languages

Ruby Thelot Ruby Thelot October 14, 2025 6 min read
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What it really means when someone likes your Instagram stories.

New Love Languages
The Instagram Story Like Tripartite Meaning or the IFWU Diagram
With every new technology, we find new ways of showing affection. With every new technology, there emerges a new love language.

In the 1997 Seinfeld episode “The Millennium”, that method was the speed dial. A quick recap for those who haven’t seen Seinfeld Season 8, Episode 20: Jerry is dating a woman named Valerie who, based on the quality of their dates, ranks Jerry on her speed dial – a set of nine programmable phone numbers that can be called in one click instead of the requisite seven. 

He starts decently at seven after their first date, falls to nine after a bad one, and rises to one after bringing his romantic A-game, so to speak. Describing the situation to his best friend George, he notes, “The speed dial is like a relationship barometer”.

Speed dial was intended to facilitate connection with individuals one calls frequently. Its first instance was developed in the Bell System (owned by the Bell Telephone Company) over two decades in Succasunna, New Jersey, as part of the Electronic Switching System (ESS). The ESS enabled three main features: three-way calling, call waiting and speed dial.

Notably, the function of speed dial as a ranking of intimacy is not self-evident. It was not intended in its original design, nor was Jerry – or anyone else not using Valerie’s phone – supposed to be privy to this particular use. It’s an example of how technology’s original use cases can be diverted when they intersect with intimacy and communication.

The episode’s climactic tension emerges when Jerry reaches the number one spot and unknowingly replaces Valerie’s stepmother, who had been working for years to hold the top position. This loss is reminiscent of the contemporary discourse around Snapchat ranking emojis, and how the loss of a streak (an indication of daily communication) or another interaction marker can cause distress among users. By the emoji system in Snapchat, I mean the symbols placed next to each of a user’s main friends on the platform, which allow for a programmatic ranking of one’s different friends.

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